Sunday, September 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sunday, February 03, 2008
so aimless and offline.
I feel so helpless,
so selfish and undivine.
I feel so crazy,
feel sanity cant be fine.
I feel so weak,
frustrated and just alive.
But i still feel the warmth,
of the love i never had.
But i feel so cold,
cos the warmth's just a lie.
The lie's a truth,
a truth I can't accept.
Cos once its done,
my love; my madness will be gone.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
i dont want to, but i have to let go of you.
I have to get my life back and stop being so insane,
cos being in your love has me nothin' but pain.
That pain, i dont enjoy anymore,
dont think my love is that hardcore!
Monday, October 09, 2006
sometimes ur love makes me cry.
And though i am in pain,
i wanna be more insane.
Dont know the reason why,
your love makes me feel so high.
Just wanna cry in the rain,
and forget how this is so gonna be in vain.
Just love the cloudy sky,
just love the rain come by,
just love the way you say,
that you won't be there today.
Don't know why i love this pain,
don't know if i am insane,
don't know the reason why,
just love the way you say goodbye!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Friday, October 21, 2005
What's it with me and Web-Bowsers?
The more i acquire them the more i am dissatisfied with them, yet i keep on downloading new web browsers and trying them out, but now i think i need to stop doing that.
To get some work done, alright!
Half of the time i am trying out new softwares, the major chunk of which are new browsers or their updates. The other half i spend surfing the internet. And then i wonder, "Why no work is done!" or "Time sure flies!"
Got to get some work done, sometimes atleast. Well this week proved to be just that, I was working on a crystal report for 3 days, and when it was done, I didnt believe that i hadn't done much on the internet or tried new applications for 3 days.
So that day i scheduled a download for the developers version of Microsoft Sharepoint 2003 and started installing it the next day on a windows 2003 sever.
As i was doing that i got a mail from the Flock crew, that their new browser was up for developer preview and i should check it out. Damn well i did check it out, right away.
"Why?", Beats me! I currently have a host of browsers including the closed beta of Microsoft IE 7. No i am not a beta tester for Microsoft, "How did i get it ?", well things do get in your way, when u spend half the day surfing the internet.
Browsers i have tried, include Firefox, Opera, Avant and even Aol Explorer which is based on IE browser engine.
Every browser i have used till date has its set of issues which motivates me to keep on searching for an alternative. Even Firefox is not up to the standards which i forsee a web browser should have. But now that i have tried so many i still dont know which one to use, i hate tabbed browsing, as i am accoustomed to using different windows for different pages, so the first thing i do for each new browser is to disable tabbed browsing. Exporting the bookmarks comes next on the list of customizing the browsers, then comes adding all the plugins and extensions and the newsfeeds which i use eveyday. Whooa! that is a lot of work, now i know where my time flies.
By reflex my mouse pointer clicks on the Internet Explorer icon, and i end up using internet explorer most of the time.
Firefox asks too much from a user, download this and that, close the browser and start it again, tweak it here and there, come to think of it it is not a browser a lay-man will be able to use it to its full potential. A web browser should have a very small learning curve, so that the user can get down to work right away, well in my case, get down to wasting my time asap.
Well, i have lost the point why i am writing this post, well i am using the inbuilt blog editor in
Flock , ya but that is also possible through other browsers if u have a blogger extension installed. So what is the point i am trying to make, well it is that, surfing the Internet should be a fun experience and so we should have that fun through different interfaces, which are web browsers, so we should use different browsers so as to have the best of all the worlds, well not always.
Internet Explorer 7 beta suck big time, "What's the problem?" Well, when u click on a hyperlink, it should open the respective link at one go, well IE 7 beta does not get half of my clicks and many a times i have to see if my click really did ring a bell with the damn browser. I like its inbuilt rss reader though, but it still fails to do what is the basics of a web browser, that is to open a link when clicked upon, i haven't tried to resolve the issue, well i don't seem to have the time to do so, wonder where all my time goes........
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Well, I could go on and on, on how much my friends help me forget my old crushes by keeping me updated with news about them, but there are more things which make me think about all those girls I used to like once upon a time, or I still like them, don’t know really!
Dreams, dreams allow a person to experience things one wants or wishes to happen to happen to him, or more likely will never happen or are impossible(that word must be in everyone’s dictionary, for the sake of the much needed positive pessimism in everyone’s life).
Yeah those same dreams which manage to scare the hell out of you some times, and so are called bad dreams, but I still don’t know why they are called “nightmares”. I have never had mares or for that matter horses in my night dreams or even my day dreams (yeah I have lots of them too)!
It really dawns on you that you are a loser, when you have a dream or dreams(in my case) where the girl, whom you once wished to be with, a long time ago, appears or keeps on reappearing.
Now this would have been a very blissful scenario had it been that the girl was on talking terms with you or was seen by you every day. You could have gone up to that girl and narrate her your dream, and get her all thinking, is he a weirdo (most of the time!) or, does he really like me? (Chances are good if the girl is a hopeless romantic) In that case you might be getting somewhere, or might even succeed in get her interested in you, or even succeed in wooing her completely(again, in the case of a hopeless romantic).
But the scenario is different, when a considerable amount of time has passed since you failed to woo her (in my case all my fault!), and you are still a loser when it comes to girls, with whom you had a good chance, it’s the worst thing that can happen to you!
Now you can’t blame your friends for reminding you of that girl, because it’s your own delusional brain, which is still high on love dope, which is causing you the entire trauma.
You think, what in the name of Don Juan (de Marco, the guy who got all the chicks he ever wanted!) is happening with me!
Am I so lovesick, that due to the lack of a proper or even an improper (would be fine in my case, anything goes...) love life, has caused my brain to have such wonderful mirages, which remind me of my bad luck, of all the fun I could I have had with that girl, of all the love which would have been due to me, of all the things which would have transformed me from an atheist to an ardent follower of all religions (is that possible? yeah more than my getting the love of my dreams!).
In those dreams (I think this is totally in my case!), I see that girl, alone with me, totally smitten to me, doing all those things …and we are having a rocking time. Got the picture?
Start of my pain!
Being woken up by somebody from one of those dreams, is like God (you wish his presence, but know he’s not there, anyone who gives anyone a reality check) showing me how he has not gifted me with any love life!
Reality bites? Certainly does, and bites real hard…..
You wake with a start,(That is if you remember the dream at all when you wake up, which will probably be because the dream might not have been a morning dream, that is might have come in the middle of your sleeping hours, so the memory of it, is not immediate when you wake up. The memory of the dream may return to you sometime afterwards in the day, or may fail to do so completely.) Thinking, aha, what was that, wow, and then it dawns, hey, what the fuck? What the heaven was that? Damnit, I am such a loser. The girl whom you tried to forget, and it took months of self realization, the girl whose face, you thought was erased from your memory, just reappears out of the sick brain and here I am thinking about her in the morning,
And this is so going to carry on for the rest of the day, you wish, for days, probably.
And does the pain return, you bet it does, without a return ticket! The problem is that you start thinking about her and all those stupid things; you did when you were in lala-land, when you were high on love dope. You think about things like, does she remember me? (Duh huh!), does she still like me? (You wish), does she have dreams about me? (Even LSD will fail to excite a person to think like this…), do I still have a chance…
No, no chance at all……….now you are gone for good, gone from the fields of sanity to the dungeons of preposterous ideas, O yes, I have lost it, totally. If wishes were cupids, losers would find all the love, definitely.
You wake up, from sleep, the dope’s still on, try to think sanely, fail to do so, and keep on trying… Well it has to wear out sooner or later when you remember the definition of a dream, how it is at the disposal of the mind to hallucinate oneself, to have some consolation when you sleep, to give you some fun, to cheer you up, to help you picture things you might fail to do in your entire life, to simulate the impossible, yes that’s what dreams are meant to be. They act as a placebo to the people who are mad about things they can’t acquire, or experience.
They are for the good of all the losers. It’s like virtual reality, only this one’s free, but will be seen only by the select few, the lucky lot, the lucky lot of the unlucky ones.
I haven’t heard a person of dreaming of things he already has or a person dreaming of things he has done a dozen times already.
It’s like the poor man’s liquor, gives you’re the high (you may go too high), but also gives you the worst hangovers. And dreams involving lost love or in my case love never found have the worst hangovers, heaven when asleep and hell when awake.
After some time you get used to these kinds of dreams, if you are lucky or unlucky enough to have them in the first place!
Sometimes, you even look forward to meeting that girl again, like on a virtual date, you wish! The moment you start wishing for a particular dream, thud, your mind drops the idea all of a sudden and all the dreams you are get, are the routine ones, the ones in which you get killed in the battlefield, get chased by a ghost and stuff like that(all of these are in my case.)
It’s like your brains your own enemy, and in a way it helps you to move on and not get carried away by intangible thoughts, to more practical things, like ‘life’s a bitch’ and ‘shit happens’, like all the normal people.
Dreams which feature your “love lost” are in some ways essential, as in they help you in getting some of the things done, which otherwise you could not have ever experienced, because dreams are as good as real life, the only difference is that there is no record of the things which happened in your dreams anywhere, other than your brain, which also forgets it after some hours, and that there are no repercussions of your behavior in your dreams.
This way dreams are better than real life, but the only thing is that they are experienced or viewed by a select audience and this audience may have dreams through out their life. Obviously you have to wait for a good dream to come, and have to sit through all those bad dreams. Hey come now, you can’t complain, after all how much more can a loser ask for!
P.S: The night after I wrote this chapter, I had a dream (Some coincidence!) in which I was playing a game of cricket with Aishwarya Rai. In the dream we did not speak to each other, and from where I was fielding, she looked quiet bossy, I think she was the captain of the team in which I was playing and that’s all I can remember about that weird dream.
It’s like you have introduced yourself to her once,
But just can't get through the initial fear of talking freely with her, when you meet her again for the second time or in my case the third and the fourth. And from then onwards it’s just the smile and the “Hi”. That's the best you can do.
Then you feel this person is unlike the ordinary girls you meet up with, whom you talk to very freely and hit it off well. You feel this person is special, or even more, like in my case you feel you are in love with her and so you have a hard time talking freely with that person.
It’s like when she is around you heart misses a beat and you glance at her and when she glances back at you, all you manage is a sheepish smile and pretend to look away (in my case at my watch). At least that's what's has happened with me a lot of times.
It’s very frustrating because you want to talk to her and get to know the person well, but you get the creeps the minute you see her. Again it’s in my case at least.
And because u don't talk to her or fail to do so, you keep thinking about her and that's what drives you crazy and the enigma of the person increases.
It’s like what’s with me and this girl. Why can’t I talk to her? Does she like me or not? Well that question probably never gets answered.
After some time, after you are too chicken to talk to her, after “I am going to talk to her this time” promises to yourself, the “HI’s” you used to get from her, dry up and the smiles are the next casualty.
As time passes, when you pass her it’s like you are back to square one and it seems that we don't even know each other. End of story.... probably.
And if this entire episode has been witnessed by your friends, then.... start of a new story.
You are a dead man, might not be, but you certainly are a loser. Your friends are convinced that she and you are made for each other and the word spreads. And every time she approaches, there are whispers, or even shouts (in my case) “there comes your girl “. And now you ought to know by now that this girl has been tagged.
“Tagging” is the act of linking a person with another, even if the boy has talked with the girl once or twice,
And that's it. The girl’s name will be linked with you every time any of you friend sees her, even if she’s married, and has two kids. She is still going to be your girl. And you can’t do a damn about it.
Its been months since you have blown away your chances with this girl and a many more, with whom you once dreamed of being with, but ever time she passes, some one or the other is gonna pass a comment or call your name loudly to get the girl's attention towards you, or worst (my case), call the girl's name with you name. It’s like a song they make up about you and her, yeah those bastards; who are your friends. And then you think that you are better off with your foes.
The girl by the time must have made a strange image of you in her mind, chicken, asshole, sissy etc.
She must be thinking, what went wrong? He was supposed to be a nice guy and now he doesn't even talk to me and his friends are playing cupid!
All you are left with is the sweet memories of her and
Ofcourse, your friends. You are at a stage where you are trying to forget this girl and get on with your life but every time she’s approaching, you get reports like, “she's coming”,” she was looking at you” , ” did you see her smile “, yes indeed she was smiling, no, laughing at me and my stupid friends. “Well thanks guys!” you say, when she starts to avoid even passing next to you or your stupid posse. But friends will still refer to her as “your girl” and will never let you forget her completely.
Even when you have graduated or years have passed, news about her trickles down to you, “She topped her class” , “ She’s going abroad” ,”She’s got a car “, “ She’s earning loads of money” thanks guys ,for your loyalty and your Intel . It’s like 3 years and they still manage to get some news about her to me. Great guys! Who’s your source, definitely not the CIA, after 9/11!
After all that time I was trying to forget her and so many girls after her, I still manage to know how she’s faring.
That gets me thinking about her and I start digging in, to get more info, and just to act casual, say things like “ good for her” trying not to attract suspicion, that I do miss her.
Guys, will you give me a break from your reporting, not just about her but about all the girls who I am trying to forget.
Thanks guys! What did u say? She’s coming back, When?
Friday, September 02, 2005
I then came across AskJeeves search engine, and instantly found it very helpful that the others I was using at the moment. The search results were more relevant and our work was taking less time.
Then one day I saw someone use Google in our Internet Lab. I Just saw the logo and then name failed to interest me and I don't remember using it until a professor of ours questioned us how these search engines work, especially google. We asked him the same question and all he replied was " Good Question !" This is how he mostly replied to our queries and so we were not surprised.
This incident aroused my curiosity, yes, the same one that killed the cat. I started using Google to see what the big deal was and used it to search for "How search engines work?" Initially google did not impress me to an extent to which I would use it loyally, so I kept on using different search engines .My choice used to range from AltaVista to AskJeeves and I also discovered some meta search engines such as Teoma and Vivisimo. Their cumulative effort used to fetch me results, but search process was not as fast as it is now.
Slowly and Steadily Google started influencing me with its charm(magical then, now?) I started using google for all my research needs.Its also became my browser homepage, for quick access to the search page. Google was growing with leaps and bounds and was already overtaking many search giants.
But I had never imagined it was going to take over my computer and my internet experience after 3 years. No one would have imagined that anyway.
Its the year 2004 and the early part of that year I heard about Gmail, the new email service started by google, which gave 1 GB of storage space for its users, but the users were to be strictly invited by the ones already invited. Inshort it was in the beta stage, a closed beta for that matter, it still is, just that almost everyone has a Gmail account now, even though there is no "Register" button on the Gmail website.
So I was very eager, like everyone, to use this new email service from gmail, and so I started scourging the web, using google ofcourse, to search for a Gmail invite. There were sites which used to barter gmail invites for real stuff and even for money, I found that to be over the top and so I kept my on searching for an invite which was free, obviously, cause for me everything on the web was for free and till now I have been getting virtually everything for free(sic) on the web, everything I wanted, that is.
One fine day I ended up on this forum where some people were giving out invites and I got one from a girl, I think I still remember her name, just because I found it sort of weird, it was some thing like "Louie Oviedo". I think I still have her in my address book in gmail, just because it was her invite that initiated my Gmail account.
I was hooked on to Gmail the moment I used it for the first time, cause it had a simple interface, had a very short loading time and looked very user friendly, not to forget the reason for which I wanted another email account,(I had quite a few already, four to be precise) which was due to the amount of space that was on offer, 1 GB compared to the measly 2 MB given by Hotmail which I later upgraded it to 25 MB for free, had a friend who had access.. Okay I think I have revealed enough already.
Though it was short of many features at that time, it was still very usable. Gmail was the "in thing" at that time, and u had to have a gmail account, I was like a status symbol, a privilege that not many had, a coolness quotient and what not.
That is the time when people started realizing the potential the Google had and it had a very bright future, but nobody had perceived that it would become another Microsoft, as some folk from the silicon valley have started thinking nowadays.
Google was gaining new users by the second and was the fastest growing company and still is. But still I had not envisaged that I would be so addicted to using all the things Google as I am right now.
A year after the launch from Gmail, Google has already started a number of services and unveiled an number of products, and that cumulative number is growing very rapidly.When I want to gauge the impact of google on the general net-savvy people, mainly youngsters, I look at myself to see what an influence Google has had on me. I started counting the number of things of google origin that I was using and the figure did not impress me but actually shocked me. It was like i was in some kind of a hypnosis and half the things I would use on my Work PC to surf the internet or to live a Cyber Junkie Lifestyle were of google origin.
Then I thought of compiling the list(in no particular order) below, of my dependence on Google :
1> Google Web Search - The Search Engine.
2> Google News - The News/News-Search Engine.
3> Google Translate - The websites language translation tool.
4> Google Toolbar- The Browser Toolbar which simplifies the web surfing experience.
5> Google Desktop - The Desktop Search Engine Software accessible from the desktop.
6> Google Earth - A software to provide a 3D interface to the planet.
7> Blogger- The Blogs Hosting Service.
8> Hello- Software to instant message pictures to friends and to upload images to blogs on blogger.
9> Blogger Plugin for Microsoft Word - To Post Word Documents to Blogger.
10> Google - The Search Engine.
11> Google Talk - To talk and IM with friends for free.
12> Gmail - free Web-based Email with an ever increasing mailbox size(2553.77 MB while going to press).
The list contains all the softwares and services which I have been using or just begun to use. And if I am not mistaken, this list will keep on growing over the couple of months/years. This means that Google will increasingly control what people do on the internet, collect valuable information which could well be very personal and confidential. And we will increasingly be dependent on Google.
The question will come to the minds of people when they realize how dependent they are becoming or will become on Google, is that "Is Google taking over my life ?" This will give rise to yet another one, "But can we help it ? "
Pre-Posting Edit :-
Before i posted this post through my blog at Blogger, I ran the spellchecker which was provided with the Blog Post Window(WYSIWYG Editor).
Here i experienced a very ironic situation. The spell checker did not recognize certain words, and said that they were possible errors on my part, the words are as follows :-
1> Google ( recommendation - gogole)
2> Gmail ( recommendation - small)
To further increase the irony, the spell checker of Google's Blogger succesfully recongnized "microsoft"as a valid word, and even recommended to correct the case to "Microsoft".
The irony is so ironic in the case of the word "Gmail", where the recommendation given by the spell checker was "small". Little does the spell checker know the size of Gmail, to replace it by "small" !
This is what happens when a company buys many small companies and employs their technology( Read spell checker in this context) for their benefit. Ha Ha Ha !
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
"Techno-Humorist, yeah, i guess, do u want me to be one, well then yes i am" i replied.
I told him that this blog wasn't meant for a specific purpose and because i am a techie and i love to mix humor with my writings, people will tend to call me that.
People who read my blog, then started to question me about the identity of the people i frequently refer as "somebody in my posts.I said i prefer not to name people, so as to steer clear of any controversies that may crop up in the future.
Then somebody said i was making up this "somebody" guy just to help me write something.
I said that i was upto the reader to find out for, if i was making all this up, my job was to post some stuff i thought somebody would find interesting.
Then somebody said that he had had too much of this "somebody" guy, and told me to stop this crap asap. "Well how could i stop what has just started" i replied.
Then somebody said that he had had too much of this "whatever" crap, and told me to stop this as well . "Well how could i stop what has just started" i replied again. "Whatever" happens to be my blog name, and this was just the beginning....
Monday, August 22, 2005
"Whatever you want it to be" was my reply. The person thought for a moment and asked me to elaborate further. "What do u want it to be ? A place for expressing yourself ? A place for venting out your anger ? A place for showing off ? A place for sharing your ideas with like minded people ? A blog will be what you want it to be, a place of your own, which your can call your home, on the internet. A blog can be all that!" i quipped, leaving the person to think for a moment.
Before he could reply i continued with my blog philosophy, "Yes, in short, Whatever you want it to be. Whatever. . . "
Then somebody asked me, "What is Life ?" I smiled philosophically, guessing that i'll have to start all over again and replied "Whatever you want it to be. Whatever. . . "
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I have been using free sub-domain names until now, and had tried even free top level domain names, yes free, something like "yourname".tk . but there was a catch, if your site got less than 150 hits per month, the deal was off, how rude!
So i continued to use free sub-domains and free hosting for my minuscule sites, just fro the heck of have a presence on the web. I would put up pictures of me and my friends out on a vaction or some pics from our college days, just to show off to people. Very few of the people who figure in those snaps actually had visited the site. Anyways, atleast some did.Then one fine day, a friend of mine got an email from a hosting company, which was too good to be true.
It was something like this:-
750 mb web space
15 gb monthly transfer included
200 pop3 e-mail accounts
$25 account setup fee waived
24/7/365 live chat support
24/7/365 phone support
24/7/365 email support
Ok it was a good offer, it was a linux promotion package free for 6 months, but what made it better was the fact that it came with a domain which was being sold for only 1$.
It was the best deal ever on the net from me, a domain name for a whole one year, for just 1$.
I signed up right away. Unfortunately "sandesh.com" had been aquired by some newspaper of the same name, years ago and now that i hits me, i dont know why i did not go for "sandesh.net".
What the Fcuk! I must be outta my mind, actaully too excited to think of a proper name and so i ended up with http://sandytech.net/ .
Ya, i know it is lame , or you can say childish, but that is what i named my firm years ago: Sandytech Inc. How did i come up with the name? my nickname plus the tech thing put together. That's it, pretty simple and lame. It's okay, as long as i have a domain, i am happy.
Atleast for a year.
Now i had a domain and 750 mb web space with it. I started thinking of the possibilities.
I could make a good homepage and put it up there, or i could make sometime other than in html? No, not possible, I dont know or plan to learn PHP or Perl in the distant future and the only scripting language which managed to impress upon me (or was that simple to learn) was Asp.net, and i was stuck with Linux. (no there was no Mono on it.)
So i did not have much of a choice than have some static html pages, and so i put up a page , until i came up with something better. And i did not for many days. I had to think of something....
One fine day i remembered that i had a blog at blogger.com which had been last updated 3 months back, because i forgot all about it due to some official work which had to be completed by me(this seldom happens). I revieved the blog, and then it hit me.
Why do i have to put in so much effort to design a site and put some content in it and upload it to my free linux account, when i have a good Blog at my hand which can be updated easily and had even started supporting image uploads now. Eureka!, but wait how do i connect my domain to this blog. Hmmmm. ok lets' see.
I logged in to my free account and clicked on the domain manager and was greeted with the message, (Hard luck, Freebie Guy) that i had to contact support to use the domain manager.
So i got into a chat with a guy named Jon (never heard that name before, ha ha) and asked him to help me point my domain to my blog. What? I replied after reading his reply.
I was supposed to pay 7.95$ as redirection fee for a 1$ domain, you must be kiddin me!
Jon said that it was in the TOS(Terms of Service), who reads that anyways.
We just click "I Agree" so instinctlively as if we are the ones who have come up with the TOS.
Ok, you got me there Jon, ha, no ways you guys, i was not gonna pay anyways. There was a flash of light in my mind.
I asked Jon if it was ok if i use a redirection script to redirect people from my domain to my blog.
He had no problems with that, and i was laughing my guts out on that reply, only a fool is gonna pay these guys 7.95$ as redirection fee, that too for a 1$ domain, people are not that dumb guys.
I put up a script on my linux account which redirected the user to my blog and Viola!
http://sandytech.net/ now pointed to http://smurfit.blogspot.com/
Yahoo!, o sorry Gmail! (i use gmail, hate yahoo).
Now i had a top level domain pointing to my blog, indicating to people that i was a serious Netizen, barring the fact that the domain is down some times, and so i have to give people the alternate address to my blog, i.e. http://smurfit.blogspot.com/ . Ya Ya ok, Dont laugh guys.
The guy in support, Jon again, said that this was due to the fact that the Linux Promotion Package was in Beta Stage and would take time to be stable.
It was his style of telling me that the domain for 1$ would be working literally for the amount of time it has been paid for, or may be less than that too!
Anyways guys, atleast i have some thing, (i love to look at the positive sideof things on such occasions) and i have started or plan to actively start blogging, as i am a responsible Netizen.
What if i use too many commas in my post, or if this post is so incredibly long and irritating.
Its ok, i guess, i has to be guys, with me everythings fine everytime, barring the time when i turn into a positive pessimist. Is there a "-" between " positive pessimist", anyways, its ok i guess. . . .
Monday, August 08, 2005
BLACK ROSES AND DARK WATERS,
I CANNOT FATHOM
WILL I SURVIVE THESE TORTURES.
SUNKEN HOPES AND A HEAVY HEAD,
AM I ALIVE OR BRAIN DEAD.
DON'T KNOW WHY I'M HERE,
OR WHAT I HAVE TO DO.
MY MINDS NOT CLEAR,
I'M ALL BLUE.
COLD WINDS AND RED SKIES,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND,
ARE THEY FINE, OR FOR MY DEMISE.
WILD THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD,
WITH NO AIM, I'M I GONNA BE DEAD.
WHY HAVE I WRITTEN THIS AIMLESS POEM,
TRYING TO MAKE THINGS RHYME.
DON'T KNOW, MAYBE JUST TO KILL TIME.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
My Brain's Scratchin',
Makin me mad.
Don't know what's hatchin'
in her head, is she glad ?
What will happen tomorrow,
Hey, I don't know what's hapennin' today.
Wild Winds are blowin',
Makin' me sick.
Her thoughts are flowin,
is she in good nick.
Wonder what will happen,
in the future.
Will she dampen
My hopes, My hearts immature.
Am I steppin' on landmines of hope,
think It's just an illusion and
I'm high on Love Dope.